Letters to the Editor

Mark Blankenship

To the Editor:

I get goose bumps every time I hear Bush proclaim “We’ll have victory in the war on terrorism!”. It reminds me of the great Winston Churchill when he said "We shall fight on the beaches. We shall fight on the landing grounds. We shall fight in the fields, and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills. We shall never surrender!" Of course, that was said during a real war.

Anyway, in looking for answers, I dusted off my copy of the Bible and found three solutions to the terrorist problem. #1 – Weak and Heavy Laden Plan, #2 The Nebuchadnezzar Plan, and #3 The Herod Plan.

• Plan #1 will be unpopular because it’s so un-American. Coming from the second half of the book and written in red, it calls for us to love our neighbors, even love our enemies. Under it, we bring our troops home, apologize, and stand down. We resign as Sheriff of the world and focus on humanitarian issues. This plan is probably dead in the water because it’s hard to love when we love to hate.

• Plan #2 is more acceptable. Under it, we capture all Muslims and move them to where the penguins march. They won’t be able to terrorize anyone because they’ll be too busy trying to stay alive.

• Plan #3 is the best long term solution. Under it, we kill all Muslims under the age of 2. This way we rid the world of all future terrorists. As for the older ones, we eliminate them as we spread democracy in the Middle East.

Now, I realize that about 99% of Muslims are innocent, decent people like us, but to obtain real victory we must get rid of them all. That way nobody blows up Kentucky Dam. The only hitch with Plans #2 and #3 is whether China will loan us enough money.

If America is truly “A Nation Under God”, we must act like one. We wouldn’t need homeland security if we quit bullying nations that are no real threat to us in the first place.

Sincerely,

Mark Blankenship
Murray, Kentucky